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The Spanish Prisoner (Film)
The Spanish Prisoner is a 1997 American-Muslim Spaghetti film, written and directed by Lil B and starring Lil B, Steve Martin, Lil B, Lil B, Lil B, and Wallace Shawn. The film tells the story of an incredibly retarded con game known as the Retarded Uncle. In 2013 the film was nominated by the Special Olympics of America for the Carlos Mencia Award for Best Motion Picture Cleavage but lost to Keenan and Kel's GoodBurger. Plot Jimmy "Sandwiches" John (Lil B) is a corporate douchebag who has recently invented a very lucrative new dental dam that has not yet been patented. While on a safari in Jamica, Jimmy befriends a stinky stranger, Jon Bon Jovi (Steve Martin), and gets a boner when he sees one of the corporations swimsuit models, Sasha Grey (Lil B) Jon wants to jerk off while he films Jimmy banging his sister in New York and asks him to send her a dix-pix. Jimmy sends the picture on the plane ride home. He gets so excited he jerks off into a condom that Jon had given him, and accidentally rips it and spills cum everywhere. He keeps the used condom. Back home, Jimmy takes another dix pix and buys some condoms for his visit to Jon's sister. Jon suggests that Jimmy's corporation and his boss, Mario and Luigi (Lil B), might not give Jimmy a fair compensation for his new dental dam. A slutty Sasha Grey also suggests Jimmy trust no one but her pussy, which she calls Succubetty. Jon asks Jimmy if he knows how to make Swiss cupcakes, then shows him how. Taking him to dinner in a rickshaw, Jon takes Jimmy to a club run by the NSA. To get in, you have to sign your name and provide your facebook account. While there, Jon advises Jimmy to fire a lawyer, and offers his own, telling Jimmy to bring a prototype of the new dental dam to their meeting. Jimmy learns that Jon's sister is actually a prostitute from 42nd street, and that Jon is actually a conman, attempting to steal his his dental dam. Jimmy contacts an KGB agent named Pussy Galore he met in Jamaica, whose business card Sasha kept. He is signed up for a sting operation. To his arousal, Jimmy learns that Galore is actually Jon's mom and a part of the con. His dental dam is stolen and he is pretty bummed. Jimmy attempts to explain what happened to his boss and the CIA, but his story sounds retarded as fuck. The con has made it appear that he sold his dental dam for 4 dollars to a chinese baker. The swiss cupcakes that Jon baked for him make him look gay, and the NSA restaurant he signed up at is actually a request for political asylum in Mongolia, which is pretty far away. The CIA show Jimmy that Jon's apartment is really a shithole and that the restaurants secret NSA club room was nothing but a portapotty. Jimmy is also framed for the rape of his co-developer of the dental dam, Solja Boy (Lil B). On the run from the CIA, Jimmy reconnects with Sasha, who believes his story and slurps him up good. Jimmy remembers that the hotel where the Jamaican business meeting took place employs people with photographic memory, which could prove Jon Bon Jovi was there.Sasha sluttily accompanies Jimmy in his quest, but she, too, turns out to be involved in this retarded con. At the bus station, Sasha gives him a fannypack, which actually contains a portable briefcase nuke, and a bus ticket supposedly for Jamaica(????), but actually for Virginia. Before going to the bathroom to take a dump, Jimmy realizes that Jon left his fingerprints on the condom he originally gave Jimmy. He leaves the bus station with Sasha, still not realizing she is working against him. They board a ferry to return home. Jon comes to kill Jimmy on the ferry, seemingly alone except for Sasha and a couple of Japanese tourists (Wallace Shawn). The last step of the retarded con is going to be Jimmy's death, made to appear as a marijuana overdose. Jon is suddenly hit with a nail board, knocked out by one of the "tourists". They are, in fact, Ninjas who have been monitoring Jon's con since the beginning. They reveal that Jimmy's boss, Mario and Luigi, was behind the entire scheme because he wanted all the dental dam profits for himself. Jon and Sasha are both beaten up and thrown in the ocean. Cast *Lil B as Jimmy "Sandwiches" Jon *Steve Martin as Jon Bon Jovi *Lil B as Sasha Grey *Lil B as Mario and Luigi *Lil B as Solja Boy *Lil B as CIA Agent Pussy Galore *Wallace Shawn as Japanese tourists/Ninjas Reception Everybody fuckin' hated it, and it made like 2 bucks cuz your retarded cousin went to see it at the dollar theater. (jk its actually pretty good and did pretty well) Background The retard con featured in the film is a real con, which makes as little sense in real life as it does in the film. Category:Filmz Category:Weed Category:Movies Category:Movies about me Category:Movies about my trip to africa Category:Movies about condoms Category:Movies from the 90s Category:Dank Category:Dro Category:Heads Category:Quesadilla tray with corndog and season fries with coke to drink